Boundaries and gatherings
Gathering for the Holidays? Here are questions and answers to questions you do not have to answer. Even to your sweet grandma.
Q: Why aren't you drinking?
A: None of your business.
Q: Should you be eating that?
A: Mind your own business.
Q: When are you going to get pregnant?
A: Stay out of my business.
Q: Why are you/aren't you chestfeeding?
A: Because it's my body and my business.
Q: How long are you going to chestfeed for?
A: As long as it's my business.
Q: When are you having another baby?
A: When I make it my business.
Here are some other useful tips for managing unwanted and unsolicited questions and advice:
Redirect:
I’m just doing what is best for me and would love to chat about something else.
Subject change:
That’s not something I feel like discussing, have you tried these cookies?
Boundary:
I’m gonna sit this one out.
I’m not going to have this conversation with you, let me know when you are ready to talk about or do something else.
That information is just for me and my partner.
I’m not ready to have that conversation.
Expectation setting:
If you want to support me, here’s what I need.
Remember that:
People don’t need to understand or agree with your boundaries to respect them.
You do not have to listen to anyone's horror stories about pregnancy, birth, or parenting.
You are not obligated to explain why you need people to take off their shoes, wash their hands, wear a mask or participate in any general germ-fighting habits in your home.
For the moments where you need a reminder or have a burning question, you can chat with a Poppy advocate - here when you need to hide.